Short essays on negotiating through everyday life, work, and times of upheaval.
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To negotiate or let it go?
My posts have consistently highlighted our many everyday opportunities to negotiate—the fact that negotiations surround us, and that negotiating makes life negotiable. But if you buy that advice, which I believe and hope you do, then you should immediately spot a challenge. Most of us have many ways to spend our time—too many, in fact,…
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Screw-ups as discounts
Products that perform poorly. Services that fall short. For most of us, these are nothing more than tremendous frustrations. Fewer of us realize that they also represent tremendous opportunities—opportunities to make life negotiable by requesting a discount! Some people don’t know that companies offer discounts to dissatisfied customers. Others know but are too afraid to…
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James Comey, Hillary Clinton, and offers in negotiation
Last week, many of us watched as FBI director James Comey detailed the FBI’s investigation into Hilary Clinton’s email practices, then recommended against criminal charges. Many of us continued to watch as he was criticized from both sides of the aisle—in an unusually intense grilling by the House, for example. Although such a politically-fraught statement…
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Negotiating with seatmates: Making flights negotiable
I recently experienced the joy of a 13-hour flight without a functioning video system (thanks “Reunited Airlines“!). On the plus side, those 13 hours afforded ample time to reflect on making life negotiable. What I realized was that flights themselves offer untold opportunities for improving our lot through some simple negotiation strategies, many of which…
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Learning to love deadlines
Oh, deadlines…even the word stresses us out. Whether it’s the last minute to submit the meeting minutes or the last day to sign up for daycare, the prospect of an approaching cliff challenges even the calmest to remain calm. Yet, wisely imposed deadlines can make life substantially more negotiable. To illustrate, consider three big benefits…
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A silver lining in other people’s failures?
Most of us spend most of our lives in organizations. And, whether we intend to or not, many of us start to identify with our organizations—they become a part of who we are. “I’m a professor at Johns Hopkins,” I might say. “I’m a manager at General Electric,” might you. Having identified with our organization,…
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What I learned about negotiation from Keith Murnighan (1948-2016)
On Friday, the world lost a legend. While that statement certainly applies to Muhammad Ali, I don’t mean Ali. I mean an academic legend, Keith Murnighan: my advisor, colleague, and friend—and a man beloved by all who knew him. Nothing I write could sufficiently honor Keith’s life or fill the hole left by his passing. But…
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Five responses to one treacherous question: Your “minimum salary requirements”
Ever applied for a job online? If so, you’ve probably been asked to provide your “minimum salary requirements.” And what did you say? Whatever your answer, it was risky. Because the question is nothing short of a minefield: Too high, and your application will get binned before your browser closes. Too low, and your wish…
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Negotiation success through graduation platitudes
The graduation season is upon us! Setting aside all of the reasons for joy and celebration, that can only mean one thing: so is the season of the platitude-laced graduation speeches. And while few of us enjoy platitudes, many of us would probably acknowledge that they contain nuggets of wisdom. Why else would wise people…
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Getting to no: Three more reasons that you might want to disagree
Even before the first class in my negotiation courses, I always ask my students to read Getting to Yes. Indisputably the most influential book on negotiations, it breaks down the misconception that negotiations are necessarily combative, presenting four principles to help readers identify win-win solutions instead. It’s a great book, and that’s why I assign…
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In praise of disagreement
It wasn’t always this way. Anyone old enough to remember the world before cable news knows that, although we’ve always had our political disagreements, we used to disagree with each other. That is, our politicians and pundits used to vehemently dispute each other’s premises in hopes of knocking down each other’s conclusions. But even a…
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Three responses to a perilous question: What’s your bottom line?
The world is full of people who want to know your “bottom line.” Real estate agents are immensely curious about “your budget.” Car salesmen are sure to ask how much you can afford, in total or each month. That company you hope to work for? They’d love to know your minimum salary requirements. These are…
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To tell the truth? Three Republicans, three approaches
Against my better judgment, I’ve now written several posts about the current presidential election. For example, here’s the latest. The references to negotiation are just too good and too frequent to ignore! So why not keep going? The three remaining candidates for the Republication nomination—Kasich, Cruz, and Trump—embody three distinct ways of dealing with the…
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Trump’s curious opening offers
As anyone following politics is well-aware, Donald Trump has made a habit of staking out aggressive negotiating positions. Whether it’s insisting that Mexico will foot the entire cost of a wall or suggesting that he might entertain nuclear retaliation against ISIS, Trump seems unafraid of making the first offer, and making it aggressively. In that…
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Putting on the brakes: Negotiation via procrastination
We’ve all heard Ben Franklin’s advice to never “put off until tomorrow what you can do today.” And many of us probably even try to follow that advice. But is procrastination always bad? Not necessarily in negotiation. Indeed, it’s often flat-out strategic to halt negotiations rather than resolve them right now. Be it with kids…
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The power of false dilemmas
Whether we use the term or not, most of us know the concept of false dilemmas. Should we carpet bomb ISIS or take zero action? These are obviously not the only options. Most of us know that—and thus know better than to choose between them, lest the questioner control our thinking. And yet, there are…
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Is flexibility only for yoga masters?
Does flexibility help or hurt in dealing with others? Last week’s Republican debate featured a vigorous discussion of the issue. Trump sang the praises of flexibility, saying, “I’ve never seen a successful person who wasn’t flexible and who didn’t have a certain degree of flexibility.” Rubio noted the drawbacks, suggesting that Trump was so flexible…
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In praise of work-life conflict
Many of us find it nearly impossible to balance work and life. And most of us who struggle with work-life conflict, including me, loudly decry it. But in this post, let me sing one particular praise of work-life conflict: a busy home life gives you a substantially stronger negotiating hand at work. How? By allowing…
