Short essays on negotiating through everyday life, work, and times of upheaval.
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Friday night fights: Choosing negotiation instead of persuasion
Where to go? What to do? Where to eat? At least once a weekend, most of us discuss at least one of these questions with someone else—a friend, a significant other, a spouse. But what happens when we disagree? It’s difficult, but negotiable. To make it negotiable, however, is to understand the difference between negotiation…
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My toddler STILL won’t eat their dinner! Timing your first offer
One of my first posts tackled one of the most intractable problems: convincing a toddler to eat dinner. In brief, it suggested making the first offer: approaching the toddler before dinner and offering a cookie if they eventually eat their meal. Not waiting for the meltdown and offering several cookies out of desperation. As I…
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My family or yours? Using integrative negotiation to allocate holiday time
With the holidays fast-approaching, many of us face a decision: my family or yours? As anyone who has made this decision can attest, its consequences often stretch far beyond December. Dividing up family time can be contentious. But it’s negotiable! For this post, imagine you’re married or in a serious-enough relationship to worry about the…
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Three Keys to a Killer First Offer
Most of us own something we don’t really want. Maybe we’re riding the train and no longer need a car. Maybe we’re moving and can’t haul the couch. Maybe our fancy bike eliminated the need for a Schwinn. Opportunities to sell are everywhere. But how to pick a price? I’ve previously suggested setting your first…
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Don’t let them sell you! Disarming the aggressive salesperson through ratification
Do you remember the last 24-hour period in which no one tried to sell you something? Can’t say that I do. From ever-cheaper utilities to ever-faster Wi-Fi, it seems that everyone is selling. And while slamming the door or ending the call is often the obvious option, uncomfortable instances remain when—thanks to the salesperson’s guile…
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Getting a great deal on Craigslist: Strategic concessions
If you’ve ever used Craigslist, you know that costly transactions with complete strangers are now totally normal. From cars, to boats, to diamonds, even luxury items are now transacted online. Yet, ubiquity does not imply simplicity, as intransigent online parties often make unreasonable demands, then fail to find common ground. Online deals are difficult, but…
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Bedtime bargaining: Getting your child to sleep without sacrificing your sanity
Children are remarkable bargainers, especially as their bedtime approaches. And the outcome is critical indeed, as a bad bedtime bargain not only guarantees a crabby morning; it also leaves parents frustrated in the face of their own weakness. Willing an unwilling child to bed is tough. But it’s negotiable! Today I’ll discuss a seemingly trivial…
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Getting them out the door on time: How to make the first offer
If you’re anything like me, you have a need (even a compulsion) to be on time. But if you’re uncannily like me, you’re frequently frustrated by a friend or family member who, when accompanying you to your appointments, sees no particular difference between 10:30 and 11:00. The nerve! How can you possibly convince them to…
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Doing your fair share in the workplace: How to respond to someone else’s first offer
At some point or another, by choice or by assignment, most of us will start a work project with someone we don’t really know. Having launched such a project, a perennial question quickly blooms: “Who will do what?” Making sure you do your fair share—no more, no less—is far from easy. But it’s negotiable! For…
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How to win your next dispute with the airlines
Summer is the season of vacations and thunderstorms. With both come the possibility, or perhaps the absolute certainty of unpleasant airline experiences. With unpleasant airline experiences come the opportunity to make the airlines aware of those experiences, seeking recognition or—better yet—redress. Disputing with the airlines may be (and usually is) uncomfortable. But by describing what…
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Four strategies to win any negotiation (especially with the car dealer)
A few posts ago, I talked about how to out-negotiate the car dealer: by cultivating your alternatives. We’ve also tried to out-negotiate toddlers (with first offers), employers (with reservation prices), and cable companies (with targets). In all of these areas, life’s negotiable! Yet, at this point, I need to introduce an important wrinkle: To REALLY…
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Bring down that cable bill! Setting a target
Should I really pay that much to watch five channels? Many of us wonder with each cable bill, or at least when our contract comes up for renewal. Although few of us probably act on that thought, many of us probably should. If we’re truly paying too much, the cable bill is negotiable! Let’s focus…
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Should you accept that job? Defining a reservation price
There comes a time in all of our lives (approximately every three years) when we must decide whether to change jobs. This decision may seem difficult (and it is). But it’s negotiable! Now, negotiating a new job offer requires a whole host of negotiation concepts and skills, including the ones I’ve described in recent posts.…
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Why won’t they eat (sleep, use the potty)? Making the first offer to a toddler
Why not start with one of the toughest problems of all—convincing a toddler to do what you want them to do? If you have kids, you know that this problem often seems insurmountable. From eating, to sleeping, to using the potty, your priorities for toddlers only occasionally correspond to their priorities for themselves. Not that…
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Life’s negotiable: Research-based strategies for solving life’s problems
Negotiable (Merriam-Webster): Capable of being traversed, dealt with, or accomplished Open to discussion or dispute I’ll be the first to admit it: Life doesn’t always seem negotiable. On a given day, children refuse to eat, coworkers refuse to cooperate, and the cable company refuses to remove that annoying charge. But let me also insist that…
